So here I am in Florida. I started having pain in my upper right gastric region. Over the course of three days it was getting really intense. Could my primary care provider squeeze me in? Nope. 

So off I go to urgent care. I get there and it takes a loooong time for them to verify if I can be seen there (i.e. Will my insurance cover it?) as I am clutching my stomach with tears coming out of my eyes. They finally find out I can. 

I was seen and the doctor says I need an ultrasound. After two hours on hold, I showed up at the radiology place to try and get an appointment. They say the soonest is two weeks. I explain I am going to explode, like as in the movie “Aliens,” right in this office. Suddenly they find an appointment for the next afternoon.

I get the ultrasound and the results two days later. My PCP says I need to see a gastroenterologist and get a test called an ERCP, ASAP.  I call around to every GI office in a 15-mile radius. Soonest appointment? Three months. But, I try to explain, I am in pain, it’s emergent, don’t you all do emergency visits? All answers were the same: Nope, just go to an ER.

Well, I am not a gazillionaire. In addition to having to sit in chairs for half a day, I would owe a 20% co-pay of an ER visit. So, basically a few mortgage payments.

Can you imagine if we tried to get away with this in the skilled nursing facility? “Oh, sorry, sir, but your mom has to stay in pain and put her health at risk and wait three months to see a doctor.” Oh yeah, CMS would love that too. Let’s ignore F711, F712 Physician Visits and Emergency Physician Care F710, F713. Why not? And that’s besides the inhumane care.

So here I am, calling the doctor’s office every day, hoping there is a cancellation I can squeeze into before the alien pops out. As much as I am often bothered by regulations, I do wish they were applied fairly across all sectors of healthcare.

OK, I am getting off my soapbox to clutch my stomach again! Hopefully this is just gallstones or something else easily identified and dealt with. Until we find out, it’s liable to be pretty uncomfortable. But better than an Alien! Oh, the inhumanity!

Just keeping it real (painful),

Nurse Jackie

The Real Nurse Jackie is written by Jacqueline Vance, RNC, CDONA/LTC, Senior Director of Clinical Innovation and Education for Mission Health Communities, LLC and an APEX Award of Excellence winner for Blog Writing. Vance is a real-life long-term care nurse. A nationally respected nurse educator and past national LTC Nurse Administrator of the Year, she also is an accomplished stand-up comedienne. The opinions supplied here are her own and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer or her professional affiliates. 

The opinions expressed in McKnight’s Long-Term Care News guest submissions are the author’s and are not necessarily those of McKnight’s Long-Term Care News or its editors.

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